She’s Lois Lane, son.
So Amy Adams is playing Lois Lane, right?
So for the sequel, we get Isla Fisher to play Lois’s sister, Lucy Lane.
AND THAT’S MY PLAN.
Man, I haven’t been this pumped up for a Superman movie since… Superman… Returns…
I’m sure someone did this the moment this was posted on Texts From Last Night, but on the off-chance they didn’t…
I’d really want to write a Superman Family title, that either takes place outside of continuity in an AU where Superman is dead, OR—
1. Superman is almost never in Metropolis. Think about it. Metropolis isn’t Gotham. There’s not going to be a bank robbery everyday. It is, by turns, Superman and Lex Luthor’s city. Who’d be stupid enough to try and pull a job under those two’s noses? The real big picture stuff done by Luthor are arms deals, black-book operations, etc. Those he keeps mostly far from Metropolis, not wanting to shit where he eats, and they have to be dug up by Lois and Clark.
Not to mention that Superman is a busy guy. What’s he going to be more concerned about, a volcano in Spain or a purse-snatching in Metropolis? Spain, obviously. Then there’s his duties with the Justice League, which can often take him to 80,000 BC or the far side of the galaxy. Superman is usually not around. Metropolis is where Superman lives, not where he works.
2. With that in mind, there is a ‘home guard’ of superheroes that Supes relies on to keep Metropolis safe in his absence. Just because the big guns don’t have to be called out for every little thing doesn’t mean there’s no danger. Metropolis is a city at the forefront of scientific thought, with Superman’s own efforts, STAR Labs, CADMUS, and Lex’s unethical research all possibly giving rise to a threat at any time. This is where the Superman Family (as they wouldn’t be caught dead calling themselves) come in.
3. There’s Steel and the Golden Guardian and those other folks no one cares about. This post would be way too long if I got into them. Moving on…
4. More importantly, there’s SUPERBOY and SUPERGIRL. But a new, fun take on them. A lot’s been made of Superman as an immigrant metaphor. But where do Boy and Girl fit into that equation? Generally, the thinking goes, to the detriment of Superman’s thematics. After all, if he’s not the Last Son of Krypton, who would want to read about him? But that’s dumb. How many immigrants are THE ONLY IMMIGRANTS FROM THEIR COUNTRY in America?
5. I’d like to continue the metaphor using Superboy and Supergirl. If Superman is the ultimate immigrant success story, Boy and Girl showcase different aspects of that same experience.
6. Superboy is the ultimate assimilationist. He wants to fit in, he embraces all aspects of being human/American/Metropolitian. Where I think a lot of people go wrong with writing Superboy is that they try to make him a Legitimately Cool Dudebro (he has a tattoo! He wears a T-shirt! He wears jeans! HE DRINKS MOUNTAIN DEW, BRAH!). But I think most of Superboy’s fandom stems from the YJ days where, if anything, Superboy was something of a dork. He THOUGHT he was cool, but he wore a leather jacket over spandex tights. C’mon.
Let’s go back to that characterization. Superboy wants to be cool, but there’s no disguising the fact that he’s on the outside looking in. He desperately wants to be accepted, but that just makes him look like more as a spaz. And that’s in his civilian identity. Imagine the reception he’d get as Superboy.
7. The “COOL BUT RUDE” thing? It would not fly. Adults would find him annoying and kids wouldn’t get over the fact that he’s part of Superman’s brand… the squarest, most whitebread superhero of them all (except for Captain Marvel, but in Fawcett City, they go for that). You and I know that Superman’s a muckraking reporter in addition to a social crusader, but hey, kids can be stupid. To them, Superman is lame and Establishment-y, while Batman is KEWL (truth in television, eh?). So Superboy is getting it on all ends (perhaps an opportunity for some secret identity shenanigans where he can be cool in one persona by throwing the other under the bus). THIS MAKES HIM ENDEARING TO THE AUDIENCE, FAR MORE SO THAN BEING A COMIC BOOK WRITER’S IDEA OF COOL. (Looking at you, Young Justice cartoon. “SUPERBOY SMASH!”)
After all, not many of us have been universally accepted and admired cool kids, but a lot of us have WANTED to be cool and have not been able to figure it out. This would also play into Superboy’s relationships with Cassie (I picture an emotional scene where Kon admits to himself that he’s the furthest thing from cool, and Cassie simply says “I think you’re cool.”) and Tim (who, these days, WOULD BE a cool kid—he’s smart, sensitive, caring, and nerdy without being WEIRD nerdy. Fun new dynamic, eh?).
8. Then there’s Supergirl. And to understand Kara, you need to understand Kandor.
See, Krypton wasn’t either Bryne’s planet that “deserved to be wiped out” or Waid’s “alien heaven.” It was, well, a little bit of both. An astonishing rich and advanced world that had, for centuries, been drifting toward sterility, but had a growing movement headed back toward naturism. Kal-El’s parents were two of those—they bore him naturally, instead of in a birthing matrix. And the city of Kandor was a hotbed of this naturalistic movement. For the moment, it seemed like this movement would spread and restore Krypton to its true potential, but that wasn’t in the cards. The planet was destroyed (the dashed hope making this a true tragedy; if Kal-El had been raised on Krypton, he could’ve participated in a Kryptonian Renaissance) and Kandor was only spared due to Brainiac’s shrink-ray.
Years later, Superman takes it from Brainiac and starts experimenting with a way to return it to its true size. Kara’s father is helping with an experiment when something goes wrong, making Kara life-size… but the results are not reproducible and Kara cannot be shrunken down again.
Now Kara has a tragic backstory, but one that’s not too much for the child audience. She can talk to her parents, just not physically interact with them. It’s like being away at college for the first time. This moves her far away from being just a palette-swapped Superman (something anyone with the S is in danger of).
And, as if in response, Kara has the opposite ‘immigrant’ experience from Kon-El. She wants to preserve her cultural identity at all costs (the Superman mythos provides a great unintentional cue for this—Kandor is LITERALLY ‘Little Krypton’). So, although Kandor wasn’t a Borg Cube, she still values Kryptonian virtues over Earth ones and, in personality, is bookish and a bit superior. Hermione Granger to Kon’s Ron Weasley. I think most female nerds could sympathize with feeling a little too smart for their planet. Think of it this way.
Superman: Great Scott!
Supergirl: Great Rao!
9. Here’s the most important thing. In Superman’s absence, who’s going to lead this circus? Not in terms of power, but in terms of morality? Between the two of them, Superboy and Supergirl have almost as much raw power of Superman, but nowhere near the experience or insight to use it properly. And that’s where Lois comes in.
Think of her as one-part soccer mom, two-parts Army general. This is a woman who was a Pulitzer prize winning journalist while Superman was still baling hay. She knows the difference between right and wrong, has interviewed probably all the greatest minds of the 21st century, and in general is one smart cookie. I could imagine Superman, even with all his Kryptonian learning and homespun Kansas wisdom, talking things over with his wife before arriving at a decision.
As the saying goes: “Behind every great man is a great woman.” Lois has every bit as much experience in superheroism as Kal-El because she’s been there with him every step of the way, looking at him both from the inside and outside. Now she’s turning that experience to leading Kon and Kara, reasoning with them about what they should do in all the various weird scenarios they encounter. Whether they listen to her is another matter.
10. Also, Superdog and Power Girl, but I have my own twisty ideas about how they should be portrayed. Trust me when I say I have an idea for Peej that would not only tie her into the Superfamily more firmly, but give her an incredible thematic weight and a unique origin all her own.
Wasn’t Syndrome like a huge fanboy when he was little? So like, he’s probably holding his OTP in his hands and this is one of his fanfictions that became real.
I don’t think Mr Incredible x Elastigirl was his OTP because he looks pretty pissed… maybe he shipped different parings?
He probably didn’t ship Mr Incredible with anyone. Because Mr. Incredible worked alone, and it would be OOC for him to have a relationship.
That’s probably why he’s pissed: This pairing goes against canon, and he’s the type of fan who hates that.
Blind to the obvious as usual, tumblr
his otp was obviously Mr. Incredible and Frozone
This fucking post
Syndrome’s probably planning to reset the universe so Mr. Incredible can be a young, swinging bachelor again
and date him.
Another work by my friend who could do with some love. I know tumblr hates Clark/Diana and loves Clark/Lois, while DC feels the exact opposite way: but surely, somehow, everyone can get along. Perhaps with a little sharing and light polyamory? If there’s one thing Erica Durance has taught me, it’s that Lois Lane’s curiosity definitely extends to bisexuality.
I love how, although this is showing a 2V/1D threesome with full-on penetration, there’s some degree of subtlety in the presentation. No one’s splayed out in a bondage fetish outfit with their tits exploding out at the viewer, or contorted to show off all the goods. The focus is on the kiss, the missing heels, the touching, not just on penetration or Grammy no-nos. It’s porn, sure, but porn that’s trying to capture the characters as organically as possible instead of forcing them into Brazzers cosplay.