Fuck yeah, melancholy...
I want a Pride & Prejudice movie with Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling

But Gosling has to play Darcy EXACTLY like the Driver in Drive

Like, if at all possible, he should violently beat Wickham to death with a hammer.

I think the worst thing I could say about The Amazing Spider-Man

is that I would rather have just seen a romantic comedy with Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, rather than a SPIDER-MAN MOVIE WHERE HE FIGHTS A GIANT LIZARD AND POLICEMEN ARE MUTATED INTO OTHER LIZARDS AND LIQUID NITROGEN IS DEPLOYED IN BATTLE. Because that second part wasn’t done very well.

In fact, are we sure this didn’t start out as a romantic comedy? Maybe it had a scene where Andrew Garfield wears a Spider-man costume for Halloween—that would explain why he never wears the mask. Then sometime later the execs said “Oh, we’re doing some reshoots, this is a Spider-Man movie now,” and so then Rhys Ifans was a giant lizard who wanted to make other people into giant lizards so they wouldn’t be lonely.




petition for jennifer lawrence and emma stone to co-star in a movie as lesbian zombie hunters 


why does this sound so perfect

This has fourteen thousand notes; I’m pretty sure that’s more people then want a Manimal movie, Hollywood. 

How to fix Amazing Spider-Man

One of the things that really bugged me about ASM was that none of the stuff had anything to do with the other stuff. In Raimi’s Spider-Man, sure, they had to get Uncle Ben’s death origin stuff out of the way, but that led in to Norman Osborn as a father figure and the good son/bad son feud between Peter and Harry. Even the Peter/MJ romance didn’t just humanize Peter, it showed how Peter was beating Harry at his own game and thus a more desirable ‘son’ for Norman. 

Then you watch ASM and you have the mystery of the dead parents, which has nothing to do with Peter’s hunt for his uncle’s killer, which has nothing to do with the Lizard (I guess they’re both outcasts… even though even before becoming Spider-Man, Peter is getting hit on by the hottest blonde in school… and Curt Connors himself seems to have a cushy job at a giant corporation… for God’s sake, he works with Emma Stone all day!). Oh, and none of that has much to go with Denis Leary or Emma Stone either. It’s all just… stuff. There’s no clear theme.

So, I had a long day at work and here’s a rough outline of how to fix that.

Read More

The List of Stupid Things In The Amazing Spider-Man

Peter: What’s this? My dad’s old suitcase?


Uncle Ben: Oh yeah. Your father gave that to me before he died. The last thing he said to me before he died was that I keep it safe. It was his dying wish. (beat) I forgot all about it!


Peter: Hmmm… a newspaper clipping hidden inside! It’s about my father and someone named Curt Connors! This is brand-new information!


Audience: Uh, if it’s from a NEWSPAPER, then it’s a matter of public record.


Peter: Maybe if I search for this on Bing, I might find some answers!


Audience: Seriously? That’s what leads to this major revelation of your dead father’s life? An internet search?


Peter: Well! My father used to work for Oscorp!




Peter: Well, to be fair, I was using Google before, like a normal person. Bing, that makes all the difference.


Read More

Gwen falls in love with Peter Parker. Mary Jane fell in love with Spider-Man

Emma Stone on how her Gwen Stacy differs from Kirsten Dunst’s Mary-Jane Watson.

I’m sorry, you weren’t angry at Emma Stone a minute ago, were you?