Fuck yeah, melancholy...
fuckyeahfrankcho:

She-Hulk Commission

fuckyeahfrankcho:

She-Hulk Commission

The Vampire Lovers is a real movie that exists

This film has convinced me that tumblr will eventually become sentient, travel back in time, and somehow will a movie into existence. 

Plot summary: A slutty lesbian vampire, a virgin, and the Rani from Doctor Who are all alone in a mansion. Every scene goes exactly how you’re thinking it would go. It’s basically an hour of sheer lesbianism, bookended by decapitation and Peter Cushing. In other words, the perfect movie.

bear1na:

Starfire by Olivier Coipel

bear1na:

Starfire by Olivier Coipel

I can't wait for you to see the new Spiderman movie because oh god it is so wonderfully awful his ringtone is the old theme song oh lord
Anonymous

I’ll probably buy a ticket to The Winter Soldier and sneak in. They’re very boring movies, but someone needs to write a takedown of this shit.

Plus, I’m legitimately interested in the treatment of Gwen Stacy I find it weird how prevalent the trope of turning superhero girlfriends into brilliant scientists is. Not to criticize Jane Foster et al in any way, because in Thor it makes sense, but what’s really weird is how the ASM movies make Gwen a big deal scientist so she’s “worthy” of Peter (similar to Carlie Cooper in the comics) and then the cast and fandom make these comments on MJ being a dumb slut. So it’s this very odd strain of feminism where women are AWESOME and AMAZING and deserving of respect and compassion, so long as they’re these beautiful saintly literal geniuses who earn that respect and not a horrible, no good, evil, disgusting—fashion model/actress. Which is, of course, what Emma Stone is in real life. (see also Lois Lane, Pulitzer-Prize-winning reporter being unworthy of Superman in favor of literal goddess Wonder Woman) So the psychosexual stuff going on behind the scenes is just amazing.

Extended thoughts on The Gauntlet

Okay, maybe I’m missing the bus here, adding to a review of a comic weeks after the fact and the comic came out years ago. But I have two things(tm).

1. Spider-Man pretty much maims a woman. Not in the course of a fight, but in cold blood, he grabs Sasha Kravinoff’s face, says a line about how mean she is for killing one of his friends, then rips a piece of her face off. This in a storyline that postulates ‘The Spiders’ and Peter in particular as the moral fiber of the universe (really). Between that and making a deal with Satan, the Great Enemy, the Opponent of Christ, I feel we should make Peter retake an exam of some sort before we hail him as the ultimate morality of humankind.

1a. Also, it would be pretty interesting to have a villainess who is scarred and gruesome in the manner of so many male villains like Two-Face, Baron von Strucker, the Red Skull et al. Usually female villains play on the super-sexy thing, especially in comic books. Plus, Peter being the one responsible for her deformity in a moment of anger would be a compelling angle to their fighting (far more interesting than the Rhino blaming Spider-Man for his wife’s death and being SUPER-SERIOUS BAD GUY VILLAIN BRO!) But no, Sasha is almost immediately executed by Kraven the Hunter and Ana Kravinoff, her young and conventionally attractive daughter, becomes the obligatory chick villain of ‘the Hunters’.

2. I touched on this already, but it bears repeating. In JMS’s run, the last real Spider-Man storytelling before BND, there was a very strong female perspective. You had Mary Jane Watson as Peter’s wife and Aunt May, fully aware of his secret identity, supporting him. It’s a marked contrast to go to The Gauntlet, where the supporting cast is almost entirely women BUT they’re all there, with one very minor exception, as sex objects. Every woman in Peter’s life has some mildly flirtatious design on him. They’re not characters at all. They’re options in some hentai dating sim. 

Aunt May barely gets a storyline about Mr. Negative turning her evil, but the plot isn’t at all about how she’s been violated by this action, it’s entirely about how her mind-rape affects Peter and, to a lesser extent, Harry Osborn. Even her breaking free of it is entirely based on her feelings for Peter and how she’s able to comfort HIM. So she’s basically just an emotional fucktoy that’s taken away from Peter for a little while and then given back to him, with no agency and no apparent repercussions beyond making Peter feel bad and then making him feel good. 

Oh, and we get May doing the “I hate that awful Spider-Man” thing again, which pretty much makes her the equivalent of the idiotic, blustery J. Jonah Jameson instead of any kind of strong female character. I’ve never seen such a turn-around from the feminist JMS run to this dreck. Imagine that happening with racial diversity. It’d be like if the last ten minutes of Captain America: The Winter Soldier showed Sam Wilson suddenly being afraid of ghosts; bugging his eyes out at Bucky and saying “feet don’t fails me now!” before he runs off. 

It was impossible to sneak up on Ivy in her garden. Every blade of grass, every flower’s petal, every verdant leaf on every towering tree was her sentinel. A bird could no more land there without her knowing than a spider could be ignorant of a fly caught in its web. And yet, Ivy felt a sudden presence behind her. A warm, breathing person suddenly in the heart of her domain.

“Have I interrupted anything?” came a deep, musical voice that Ivy did not know.

It was impossible. Even teleportation had to travel through space, and all space was bisected by the Green, as was all magic. The only way for someone to just be in her garden was if they entered from another reality altogether—and Ivy did not know anyone like that. That was the arena of gods.

amy-spaulding:

Here is some Barda for you guys! Having fun with layouts and text while getting for Toronto ComiCon next weekend.

amy-spaulding:

Here is some Barda for you guys! Having fun with layouts and text while getting for Toronto ComiCon next weekend.

trancer21:

Elsewhere, on a tumblr I follow, someone sent an ask regarding a story they’re writing about a half-Asian female Robin Hood*. Now, all I can think about is Skye and Simmons getting trapped back in time, with Skye as Robin Hood and Jemma as Maid Marion. Oh, and May as ‘The Cavalry’ because, honestly, who needs a band of Merry Men when you can have Melinda May? Dammit, where’d I put that ‘Shut up and take my money’ pic?

*Why, yes, I am that person that will take the Ask from someone else’s tumblr and FEMSLASH THE HELL OUT OF IT!!

May: Skye, I protest. I am not a Merry Man.